Acknowledging My Past

While I was cleaning up my room as I prepare to head to college, I found things from my past.

I read through my diary entries from 2010 till 2012 back when I was still living in Singapore (and back when diaries still existed). 

Those were the glorious days of my teenage years - the days when everyone seemed to love me, the days when many marveled at my athletic capabilities, the days when I was a popular kid and talked to a number of guys. 

But those, too, were the dark days of my teenage years - the days when I was not especially intellectually driven, the days when I was obsessed with fame, the days when none of my romantic interests reciprocated the way that I had wanted. 

The reason I am writing this is because I'm ready to come clean after four years.

It's a funny feeling and a bittersweet one really. Sometimes I would feel the anguish and the pain all over again from not doing well on tests, from not given a chance to perform on the court, from not getting a text back from a guy I liked. Sometimes I would feel a smile spreading across my face from recalling the times when I had fun with my friends and when my crushes smiled at me. 

Obviously, I don't really talk to the people I called friends or the guys I was interested in now. It's not that I hate my "friends" or anything for not caring about me or talking to me ever since I moved to Shanghai, it's just that people grow apart and there was no point in talking to them again. Also, it's not that the guys were horrible people (quite frankly a few were extremely nice and I wouldn't mind running into them on the streets one day and catching up over a cup of coffee with them), it's just that what happens in the past stays in the past.

I tossed many things away while cleaning my room - school magazines, homework, SAT stuff, and random doodles. I struggled to decide if I should toss my diaries too but after a lot of thought and consideration, I decided to keep it.

There are certain pages that I tore off because I did not want to see a certain name anymore. I don't exactly believe in "forgive and forget" because some things are just unforgivable and unforgettable. 

But there are many pages that I kept because that was still my past. I have moved on, but I acknowledge my past. I acknowledge that I wasn't the best person I could be and I acknowledge that I wasn't the nicest person ever. And I feel that it is so important for me to accept and acknowledge my past because that is what I look back on and say, "I have came a long way and I have grown and I'm glad I'm a better person."

Don't get me wrong, it was painful losing everything I had when I moved. 

But then again, I never really had anything looking back. I wished that someone was there to stop me from being the monster that I was and I wished that someone was there to stop me from getting hurt. 

I'm coming clean because I have nothing to hide. It's not who you were, it's who you are now. 

It's the things that hurt the most that make you grow the most. Quite frankly, I'm glad things happened the way they happened. It made me a much stronger person and nothing can ever break me the way this did. 

I just hope that if you are reading this and are going through something difficult, you'll only become stronger. Know that I'm here for you when no one was there for me. Know that you'll pull through. Know that better days are coming. 

Thank you for reading and for being non-judgmental.

5 Lessons From High School

Hey guys!

As a very recent high school graduate, I decided that I would pick out 5 important lessons I learnt from high school. I hope that this will help you if you happen to still be in high school or are entering high school. I would just like to make a disclaimer that this is just my personal opinion and you don't have to take me too seriously if you do not wish to do so!

So here goes...

1. If you have heard bad comments on a teacher and you happen to be put into his/her class at the start of the year, SWITCH OUT

Don't be as stupid as I was and stay in the teacher's class because you had friends in that class or because you find a person particularly interesting. NOT WORTH IT. This one teacher single-handedly ruined my GPA and the worse thing was I totally did not learn anything from him. Also, you have to realize bad teachers who still listen to your opinion and try their best to teach is one thing, but bad teachers who do not admit that they cannot teach and still end up giving you bad grades is a whole other thing.

2. Do not procrastinate and try your very best to exercise even when you're busy

For me, I always try to sleep before 12am and for the most part, I've been pretty successful. I hardly ever procrastinate and I hardly spend any time on social media on the weekdays. Sleeping early also helped me feel more rejuvenated so that I can actually concentrate fully in class. 

I wasn't very good at getting exercise when I had lets say a ton of tests in a week. However, whenever I did exercise or I had to run because it was basketball season, I felt like I was so much more energized while studying and I also got a better sleep. 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

There may be people in your school who seem perfect, but that doesn't mean you're not in your own way. There may also be people in your school who don't deserve what they have, but that doesn't mean you have to be salty about them. Comparing yourself to others will only stop you from getting happiness and peacefulness. Yes, there may be people who are smarter, or better looking, but ultimately things come together and everything will happen the way it is meant to be. 

4. Be thankful to teachers who care about you

As mentioned previously, I have met some horrible teachers. However, I have also met some amazing teachers who are not only passionate about what they teach but who also cared about me as a person. I have a few teachers I feel so close to that they are more like friends than teachers. I know I can always rely on them if I have any questions in the future but the more important thing is that I am truly thankful for the effort they put into making me a better student and a better person. A simple gift or a card can express your gratitude for them.

5. True friends stay

I get along with a lot of people well enough but I only call a few friends "friends." They are nonjudgmental, understanding, and they always have my back. Sometimes friendships fall apart and I've learned from my previous experience of moving to Shanghai from Singapore that that is PERFECTLY FINE. You shouldn't be putting in so much effort to try to continue to be friends with someone who does not reciprocate in the way you desire. Yes, it hurts, but life goes on. In a matter of years you probably won't remember a lot of people you've met because the tiny handful of people you call friends is enough.

These are just 5 lessons I immediately recall and of course there are many other things I have learnt. I hope you found this helpful and thank you so much for reading!

Review: Innisfree Orchid Enriched Cream

Hey guys!

As I promised in my previous Korean haul post, which you can read here, I'm going to write a review on the Innisfree Orchid Enriched Cream. 

I bought this for 25,000Won, which is approximately $21USD. I think this is extremely affordable given how impressed I am with this!

Basically the orchid line comes from ingredients extracted from an orchid that grows in the winter. It has antioxidant properties and aims to brighten, firm, slow down the aging process and growth of wrinkles. I actually asked an Innisfree employee before if the green tea line or the orchid line is better and she said that the orchid line is better.

It comes in a 50mL container and given the fact that I have pretty dry skin, it doesn't last that long for me since I apply a pretty thick layer to hydrate my skin. I have already finished one of this and I'm on my second container. But for those of you with normal or oilier skin, you definitely would not need as much as I do.

When I first used it, I was not a big fan of the scent. There is a significant scent which is much more noticeable than that in Innisfree's green tea products. However, it was not as overpowering as the Canola Honey Cream which I had to sell. I know that Innisfree does not add preservatives and the scent is natural, which is a relief for me. I just wanted to let you know that there is a fragrance and if you are very sensitive to fragrance, this would not be for you.

After using it for some time, and saw that it moisturized really nicely and got used to the scent, so that's all good!

The cream is extremely rich and thick. It's seriously great for people with dry skin that need that extra moisture. I do have to mention that the product doesn't necessarily dry down or completely absorb into the face. Thus, it may not be the best to use under makeup. Thus, it is best used as a night cream.

On top of moisturizing my skin, it made my skin feel SO SMOOTH. I went for a facial a few days ago and the lady was like, "Oh my your skin feels so much smoother than the last time I saw you." And I knew what exactly made it feel this way. 

I also noticed that when I wake up in the morning, my face looked a lot brighter.

Overall, I'm extremely satisfied with this cream. This is the first moisture cream I've tried from Innisfree and I'm not disappointed at all. As always, I like to try out and discover new products, but I would come back to this in the future if I don't find something that is better than this is!

I hope you found this helpful and thank you so much for reading :)

Ishigaki, Japan

Hey guys!

I just came back from my senior trip a few days ago. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a senior trip is, it's basically a vacation you take with your friends after high school graduation. 

We stayed at Club Med at Kabira Beach, which is in Ishigaki, Japan.

I put together a video of my trip and I had a great time with my friends, scroll down for photos too :)

At the airport.

Spotted a mermaid.

 Biking.

Unintentional matching.

Snorkelling.

Kayaking.

Paddleboarding.

The food in general was sooo good.

Thank you for reading :)